Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Done.

Angry. Frustrated. Alone. Sad. Done. Broken.

Do you ever feel like your best isn't good enough? Well that's how I have been feeling lately. Especially today. I get so mad when I feel like this. It happens a lot too... you think I'd get over this feeling by now. But right now it feels like I'm trying to put up this happy front when really I'm more broken then ever. School is really taking it's toll on me as of now. Today have worked so hard on this paper for my class. And I read the teacher's directions again for the paper, and I realize I got some of the wrong books. And my interview was supposed to be an observation at their facility. Good think it's due tomorrow too. I have worked for almost a week on this paper, and now I know I will get a shitty grade on it. I hate being the downer, believe me. But it's happened in the past. You work so hard for something, and it gets thrown back in your face. How is that fair? What ever happened to trying your best? Well this is my best!! And I'm sick of it never being enough. Well I'm honestly done. And now I'm not just talking about school. There is a lot of shit going on lately and quite frankly I'm rather sick of it. I'm sick of people lying to me and being fake. Why is it so damn hard to be real? I keep being there for people, time and time again. When is someone really going to be there for me? I have been going through a lot of family problems lately too. And I know of like three people that have been there for me. Where are all of my other friends? Oh right, they care about themselves, unless they are going through shit, then they come back to you. Well not anymore. I won't put up with it. I'm sorry this is probably a lot of rage in one post, but that's the point of this blogger right? To put into words how you feel. Well this is how I feel people. And if you don't like it well I'm sorry. But I'm done.

5 comments:

  1. I love you!! I'm trying really hard to find a silver lining for you...I'm really sorry everything is so shitty right now but really in a week it will be better, and in a month it will be even more better!! AND it's almost your birthday! And I love you and am always here for you!! I would give your paper an a!! Actually if I were a teacher, I wouldn't have made you write it cuz homework is gay!! K I love you!!

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  2. Jess...we have a lot in common right now I feel. If you need to talk I'm always a phone call away. Cheer up love, and remember...it could always be worse. That's what I always tell myself when I'm down. I love you.

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  3. i hope you know that i'm always just a phone call away. i love you and am so grateful for your friendship :) you're been an amazing friend to me, and i would love to be there for you. i'm a good listener and secret keeper if you ever need it.

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  4. Thanks lovers. All of your comments helped a lot.I really appreciate them, and I'm always here for you girls too :) xoxo

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  5. I love you! And I'm always here. I know we aren't that close-but I would love to become good friends with you. I'm always searching for REAL TRUE friends, and I know that's what you are to the people in your life.

    You're amazing. Keep your chin up. People suck sometimes, but in the end, they realize their mistakes. And it helps them be a better person and a better friend. Some people just need the reminder of what a strong and amazing friendship you have with them.

    It's easy to take things like that for granted. Even though friends are one of the most amazing aspects of life.

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