Monday, September 20, 2010

Can't Sleep... So Why Not Write?



Sooo.. are you ever so completely tired but you cannot sleep!? Because that's where I am right now. It's exactly 2:48 am and I have school in the morning, yet I've been lying in bed for two hours almost and can't sleep. What's wrong with me?? Maybe it's because I have so much on my mind. This week is going to be beyond busy! I think you need to pace yourself and not get too ahead, but sometimes you really can't help it; especially when you're just lying in your bed. I have a hard time turning off my brain and I wish it wasn't the case! I even tried to listen to soothing music and read... nothing. So I am resulting to writing. To me writing is another form of relaxing and I hope after I finish this post, I'll fall deep into a peaceful slumber (I wish). Oh boy. Well because I'm so tired and don't even know what to write... look how cute that kitten is with the ball of yarn. Aw, reminds me of my cat Buddy that we had to put asleep back in March. He was the kitten I picked out at the pet store and from that point forward he was always my little buddy. He was the nicest soul you would ever meet. Never bit me once and was so lovable. Even when I was having a rough day, he one time came over to me and patted away one of my tears off of my face. I just miss him a lot. He had a really bad cancer in his throat and couldn't eat anymore. The saddest part was that he was still all there, just in a lot of pain. I couldn't be in the room when they put him to sleep, actually I regret it now, but I couldn't be there at all. I didn't want to remember him that way. Selfish, yes, probably. Especially because my mom had to do it. She said that she was brushing him when they gave him the shot and he kept looking at my mom until he closed his eyes. When she got home I just stared at her and she put her hand over her heart and replied numbly, "My heart actually hurts." And she went into her room for a while. That's when I knew I should've been there with her. But I think it would be too hard to say goodbye in that way. Someone asked if it was worth it having a pet, because all you do is bond with them and then they die. But I would do it all over again if I could. A pet brings such joy and happiness to your life. Even when they go, you still have the good memories. And that's what I'll hold on forever with Buddy. Wow now that I wrote that sob story maybe I'll go cry myself to sleep... no no, just kidding. But seriously! Ha. Anyways here's to the pets that touched our hearts. I love you Buddy RIP. xoxo. And goodnight to anyone who reads this post.. sorry for my random blabbing ;)

2 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. My cat Boots went missing 2 years ago and I still miss him and tear up if I think about him too much. He was my boy for 10 years. I wish my family had never let him go outside or he might still be with us :/. Animals touch our lives.
    I'm glad your mom stayed with him. I read from a vet. once that you should always stay with your pets if you have to put them to sleep because once you leave, they always look for you.

    I hope you got some sleep! I can never sleep when my mind is going either..
    ~Jill

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  2. Thanks for the comment :)

    Aw Boots! My mom had a cat named Boots too. It's so sad when they go missing.. you don't get any closure with that.

    That's sad that they always look for you aww..

    :(

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