Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Laugh A Little

Laughter: is an audible expression of happiness, or an inward feeling of joy. It may ensue from hearing a joke, being tickled, or other stimuli. It is in most cases a very pleasant sensation.

Why does it bring so much joy to our lives??

"Laughter is sometimes seen as contagious, and the laughter of one person can itself provoke laughter from others as a positive feedback." - I completely agree with this statement. Laughter is definitely contagious.

Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I was laughing so hard that I started crying. I honestly think it is the best feeling in the world.

I have some really good friends, and every time I'm around these girls they make me laugh so hard. We made this random video yesterday... not sure if it will work or not - it's on facebook but here is the link. I think you need to be logged in. Anyways, it's just the most random stuff ever, like where do they come up with this stuff? We got on the topic of Santa Claus... and a mixture of Harry Potter brought out the English accents.. I don't know weird but it's so hilarious.

I thought this was really interesting about laughter; Laughter researcher Robert R. Provine said:"Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Everyone can laugh. Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh. It's actually healthy to laugh too! So go laugh!!

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter. ~Gordon W. Allport

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. ~Bob Newhart

There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh. ~Françoise Sagan

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh. ~Raymond Hitchcock

I just wanted to change my blog post for the day. I feel good today... happier! I wanted to share that a little bit with everyone. I think by letting yourself laugh, even at the little things, you're allowing yourself to feel that joy and happiness... even if it only lasts for a minute. It's worth it.


PS: One more video from Florence, Oregon! We were feeding birds outside our hotel window, it was so funny. Felt like I was in a circus. Good for a laugh.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Just A Few Things

Brrrrrrrr.... It is beyond cold outside!! I swear the other day was supposed to be the "worst" storm we'd need in 10 years; well it wasn't at all, yesterday & today is more like the "Snowmageddon!" But of course they don't call school off for this. It's so cold all the time and I have to realize that this is just the beginning of the weather. It's still November and in Utah in can snow up until April. Oh boy, is it too soon to move? I should probably take advantage of the snow somemore this year. Go skiing, sledding, build a snowman/snow angel, snow ball fight.... :) That will all probably last a day. Ha!

The next two weeks are seriously going to be so intense. I have so much going on... and mostly it's because it's finals week. I cannot wait to graduate seriously (that is, if math won't be the end of me) I seriously am so burnt out with school. I had to write a 7 page paper last night and of course I waited till the very last minute. I always do that! And I realized I keep this pattern going is because sometimes I work really well in pressure, not always, but just enough to keep doing it. I always get my work done, and it actually turns out pretty well. I wrote an 8 page paper at 2 am. I'm crazy I know... For those who have graduated, how in God's name did you have enough motivation to pull through the last few months? Because I feel like I just don't care about school anymore and that's definitely not the attitude to have when trying to graduate this Spring! Really tell me!!!

I always wanted to say thank you. Thank you to those who are following this blog and thank you so much for those who commented on my post "Trapped." It was definitely one of those days, but you all brightened my day so much with your kind words. It really meant a lot to me. So thank you so much, I really appreciate it!! And a quick shout out to Ryan: http://dudeinthemilehigh.blogspot.com/ Thanks for giving me an award!!!!! You're awesome. Love all your blogs out there!! And I'm definitely going to start commenting way more. Thanks again.

So the Utes vs. BYU was a pretty good game.... well it was in the fourth quarter. BYU was winning 3-0 for the first half! It was quite dull. I sadly was sick so couldn't attend. It sucks because it was my last game ever and it was a big one. But the flue knocked at my door and I opened it. Lovely... But in the end we were victorious and it was awesome!!! Good job Utes! Proud of you.

I'm so happy! Thanksgiving was a huge success. Amazing food, wonderful family, etc. And now my favorite holiday is just around the corner. You got that right: Christmas!!! Seriously, everything about this holiday brings happiness into my life. The X-mas song, spirit, gifts, decorations, family, food, religious aspects, movies, books, etc. What's not to love about it?? My mom spent all day yesterday decorating our house, and I feel like it's ten times more cozy now!! I'll take pictures later and put them up. But it really looks good and I wish it could stay up year round!!! So enjoy the season and be jolly!!!!

I also recently made my own Bucket List which is now on my blog. It helps me because it's somewhat of a "to-do" list!! It's a little weak right now, but I'm definitely going to be adding more to it!! I need to let my crazy inner self take over for a while! I'm also getting through writing my first novel. It's really exciting and pretty soon I'm going to be finding an agent and what not! I really want to take a creative writing class and have my work peer-edited by others doing what I'm doing! Thanks to a good friend Rach :) she said she'd help me out, so that makes me happy. It's funny when you meet someone far away that you've never even met, but you instantly feel a special bond with that person!! She's amazing, kind, and beautiful!! Such a cute blog too. Go check it out: http://howfickleiswoman.blogspot.com/

Anyways!! I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday. Now it's back to the real world.


Sunday, November 28, 2010


Ugh. I wasn't going to talk about this, I usually hide it up with words like "tragedy," or other things... but sometimes you need to let it out. That's what blogs are for right? To let your emotions out. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to hold anything back.

Do you ever feel like you are on a rollercoaster with emotions? I do. Quite frequently too if you ask me. I feel like this last year has been so hard and I have to wake up trying to be happy. I know when tragedy hits your life things change; I get that I do. There is the quote that, "God gives you as much as you can handle," well honestly, my family has reached the limit. Yet it is amusing because bad things keep happening. I feel like I'm a wine glass balancing on a board and I'm about to topple over any minute. One harsh word or action will shatter me... I'm a lot more sensitive these days and get hurt feelings from ridiculous situations that shouldn't make me feel that way, but they do. I just want to be fully happy again. I don't want to feel this empty void that's inside of me anymore. I know it's not fun to be around, but I feel like people are selfish a lot of the time. Put yourself in my shoes for just a second please... imagine your life is perfect. You have an amazing family, house, pets, material items etc. Wasn't always like that though, you had to work for that... try your hardest from the ground up. But you did it. You made it like that. Then one day something happens that's very unsettling. It throws off the balance you have known your whole life and everything dramatically changes for the worse. It just keeps happening and doesn't stop spiraling out of control. Finally you find out that your step-dad, your rock, is dying from a disease called, "ALS." My family is in tears, saying, "Why? Why us? Why now? Was it our fault because everything was good for so long." Of course I have no idea what ALS is, so I google it. Worst choice ever. I have figured out that the internet doesn't hold anything back. It gives answers, doesn't care if it hurts your feelings. If you want the brutal truth about something; look it up. Well I did, and it shattered me. The first thing I see about it is that it's called "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis," better known as, "Lou Gehrig's disease." And the big word that flashes infront of me is, "incurable." In that moment the stable life I once had was gone, and since then we have been balancing for any normalcy. It hasn't happened. In fact, things just keep getting worse. Now try watching someone you have known your whole life, your rock, die in front of you, because that's what has happened every single day for the past two years. I know it's getting closer to the end, but I don't know how much more me and my mother can take. She is so strong and I don't understand how. I don't feel strong in all of this; I never had. She has been there for him through everything, and it's not easy for a woman to take care of someone who has ALS. They lose all their muscles and decline, decline and decline. A month ago my step dad could talk, he can't anymore. A year ago he could walk with cane, now he's in a wheel chair until his final days. He can't move anything: not his hands, feet, head, nothing. Imagine not being able to scratch your own face when you feel an itch. He is utterly "trapped" in his own body and there is nothing we can do for him. Absolutely nothing. It's a horrible feeling. He's not the only one who feels trapped. I feel trapped in my life, my emotions, the memories of how our family used to be. I have made a lot of mistakes in the last year, a lot that I regret. I don't know why haven't been thinking clearly about consequences, and I think that that's the point; I can't think clearly anymore. My mind is foggy and out of bounds. Maybe that's how it will be from now on.

People say, "It will be okay once he's gone. You have people that love you and will be there for you." Yes, that's great, thanks. But the point is that what about these past two years that I have seen someone dying, suffering, in front of me. Do I get that back? What about the pain my mom has been through watching the person she loved more than anything die? She couldn't save him. Our miracle never came. The utter honesty that makes it the hardest is the fact that my parent, father, has died. He won't see me graduate. He won't walk me down the aisle at my wedding like I always wanted him to, he won't see my children grow up... they won't even know this man. This man that truly saved me and my mom. He gave me such a wonderful life by working as hard as he did, and for that I will always be grateful. Yes, I still have my real father, but my step-dad has been around since I was really little. We are very close.

I pray that one day my family can be happy again and normal in a different kind of way. I hope that one day my faith will come back as fully as it was before. I wish that others won't take anything for granted, because you don't know when it will be lost. Because I think I did.

Until then, I'll keep holding my head up high and "acting" like I'm okay. That's the only way to move forward. But the reality is that I'm trapped, trying to break free.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Utes vs. BYU

I'm the biggest Ute fan ever. I realized this is the last game I'll go to in college. It's been such a good run. I am proud of the Utes; even though we have been having a hard time of late. We need to get our act together and defeat the cougars, seriously. They better not beat us on our own turf. TCU was one thing... but this is BYU, our greatest rivals. I'm so sick of them. They sit there and say how "classless," we are, yet all of their fans were so disrespectful to our coach's wife last year. But of course you don't hear anything about that. Least Max Hall is gone; can't stand that guy. He has no respect for anyone, "have fun in the real world buddy, hear you're doing great in the NFL...." NOT. :) Anyways, it should be a great game. This is the last game we play before we go into the Pack 10 next year and BYU goes... independent. Ha wtf is that all about anyways? They're weird, true and true. So good luck Utes! I'm counting on you. Too bad today is going to be absolutely freezing outside. Oh boy! Can't wait. I have to bundle up like a marshmellow/snowman, should be a funny sight. Sucks because I don't feel that well either today, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your team!!
On another note, yay to the Utah Jazz!!! They beat the Lakers last night; not always an easy thing to do. D-Will is seriously so amazing. The best player we have had since: Malone and Stockton. I miss the old days when the Jazz and the Chicago Bulls used to play. Michael Jordan was a wonder to watch.. so awesome!
Thanksgiving was awesome. I had a wonderful time with my family and relatives from California. It's so nice to see family from out of town two weekends in a row. The food was amazing, and I truly think I gained about 10 pounds these last two days.. because last night we went to Porcupine (the best food ever!!!), soooo good. Their chicken noodle soup is to die for, as well as the nachos and ceaser salads :) mmmhmm.
I'm also seeing Harry Potter 7 again tomorrow for the 3rd time... yup, it's true. My family wants to go and I can't say no to that offer :)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving :) I hope everyone has a wonderful day of brilliant food, family, and fun!! I know I will.

As you can see my lovely picture -- I'm a big Snoopy fan!! I think he is so cute. I have a beagle and wanted to name him Snoopy... but my little brother named him Sport instead. He fits it well though. But if I ever get a puppy & kitty I'm naming them: Snoopy & Woodstock! Ha. Seriously though, just watching the Macy's Day parade (something I watch every single year) and so far my favorite float was Snoopy!! I love that parade! That's when I wish I could be in New York City; that city is so lively and fun! I don't know if I could ever live there though.

Last night I was watching TV and all of the old classic Disney Movies were one; two of my favorites in fact: Aladdin & Beauty and the Beast. If only they had played The Little Mermaind my night would've been complete!! It was great though, brings back so many wonderful memories. There is also a show on the Animal Planet called I Shouldn't Be Alive... I have no idea why, but I'm addicted to that show! It's amazing and intense all in one. These people are in the most surreal life threatening situations; yet they survive. They make it. I must say I cry every single time I watch it -- because after that they don't take their lives for granted because they were given a second chance.

That's how I feel this holiday season. My family has been going through a really big hard-ship, and for the first time in my life I'm truly recognizing how blessed and grateful I am to have them in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. My step-dad is so amazing, and having him come into my life has really been the light in me and my mother's life. It breaks my heart he's having such a hard time and that he might not be around next holiday season, but I cannot look at it like that this year. We are here in the NOW, all together, and that's what I need to focus on.

Here are some other things I am truly thankful for:

1. Amazing. Big Fat Greek family
2. Friends you are always there for me, no matter what.
3. The opportunity to be able to go to College & for almost being at graduation's door.
4. My pets that make me smile: Lucky, Sam, Sport. And RIP Buddy... I miss you so much. You too Tash.
5. Have to say it, all my material items... I have a lot of great things.
6. My home/homes.
7. Pi Beta Phi
8. Authors, because I love books way too much!
9. My creativity & ability to write.
10. Children, because they are so interesting and wonderful. (Can't wait to teach one day - soon).
11. My ability to still have a huge open heart, even though it's been broken quite a few times.
12. Good memories.
13. Blogger :) And being able to express myself through words.
14. Music.
15. My good health.
16. The opportunity to learn from all my mistakes.
17. The strength I have within that I didn't know I had.
18. Oregon - it's so beautiful there, and I cannot wait to move there someday.
19. My mom: the most amazing person I have ever known.
20. Laughing so hard you cry, Living live to the fullest, and Loving with your whole heart.

Take a minute to write down all you have to be thankful for; truly opens your eyes.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Majestic Aftermath

Well I must say that overall Snowmageddon 2010 Blizzard was a let-down; nothing the Utahns haven't seen. It was actually a baby snow storm compared to others. Just amusing to me because it had so much "hype" built up about it. But I cannot complain at all; the University of Utah was shut down yesterday because of it, and today my teacher canceled class even though the campus was open today. Talk about winning the jackpot (too bad I stayed up till 2 am finishing a project for my class today though). Oh well, least I won't have to worry about stupid homework over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Today has snowed quite frequently actually, but nothing too bad. I took some pictures of the "aftermath" of the storm. I must say the word that came to mind when I saw out my window was, majestic. Take a look:

I must say Utah's Rocky Mountains really are truly amazing. The sun is out right now and is shining beautifully on the snow and valley. This is when I love living in Utah.

I like the word MAJESTIC though. I watched the Bucket List last night and I must say I love that movie so much. It makes me want to create my own list of my own. Have to admit that I cry every time I watch this movie though, especially at, "Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world," and ,"witness something truly majestic."

We can't take life for granted; that's what I have learned this past year... because you never know when it all could end. I wouldn't want to know when I die, but you shouldn't sit around and wait for good things to happen either. I think sometimes you need to move full speed ahead and make things happen; can't leave it all up to fate. So in a few posts I am definitely going to start writing my own personal bucket list :) Just don't have the time to do it right now.

Yay, Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I can hear my mom cooking right now. I love Thanksgiving, there is always so much good food... I'm always so full after though that I can't even move off the couch. I have family coming into town from Cali also; cannot wait to see everyone!! I love the holidays, it always brings everyone under the same roof, no matter where you are from. I get to have two Thanksgivings too. Guess that's the plus side of having your parents be divorced :)



(PS: I learned how to make it so this cute handwritten font says my name after every post!! I am pretty excited about it actually haha. Look how cute the bumble-bee is :) )

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Lovely. Just lovely.
Well that's that... Utah is supposed to have a HUGE snow storm later today. It's said on the news that ir'a supposed to be the worst storm we've had in over 10 years, 10 years. Oh boy. Definitely mixed emotions about this. That's pretty scary! I know people have to get places, and what if the power goes out! I have homework to turn in online. BUT the good news is that my night class that I dislike a lot; has been canceled tonight!! My classes are never canceled :) I don't think any of them have since I've been in college. But tonight they are! I hope my class in the morning is too. That just helped me out sooooooo much. I now have so much time to finish my two huge projects that are due tonight and tomorrow! Wahoo. It's funny that I laid awake half the night worrying about upcoming things that are headed my way; whether it's finals at school, Graduation requirements met before spring, preparing for the upcoming Holidays, personal things that have made life not so easy these last few months, etc. It was like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. So even though the idea of the worst snow storm coming our way...... I'm still happy because I can finally breathe. It's so crazy though; this weekend I was watching home videos, and it showed when I was in 3rd grade, and it was the worst storm to hit SLC... I was playing in the back yard and I basically sunk all the way in to my head. That's how high the snow actually was! School was canceled for the day... but I had to go to school on a SATURDAY! It was actually kind of cool though because I got a certificate that read, "I survived school on a Saturday." Pretty amusing. Looks like history is about to repeat itself once more.

Message though for those out in the weather: DRIVE CAREFULLY.. seriously..... actually try to not to drive at all today if you can help it.
I'm a little scared to see how this snow storm turns out. I can already hear the wind and it's banging against my window so hard. I said it before, but I'll say it again. I really am nervous to see how much snow we get. Utah doesn't fool around when it comes to snow; I mean it's been said that we get the best snow around. But I live in the mountains, so I'm afraid to see what type of damage will happen. Maybe I'll take pics later and update what's happening. Oh boy... here we go.
Hold on tight -- it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Intriguing I Must Say.

Okay......... so I think this movie looks awesome. A lot of people are already dissing on it because it's the director from Twilight doing it. I am a huge fan of Twilight.. but I must say I was very disappointed in her work. But anyways, I was always a fan of the story of "Little Red Riding Hood," but this movie is definitely a twist on the legend. It looks darker and I think intriguing.

And I can't help it; the main guy in it is so sexy. :) I love the dark eyes & dark hair... it's definitely my type of guy. His name is Shiloh Fernandez... mmhmm. Why don't boys like this come my way?? I want one!

BTW - Shout out to my cute step-mommy Kim & my older cousin who is more like my sis Alaina:


On another note, I cannot believe the snow in Utah right now. The day before yesterday, a huge snowstorm hit!! Today is pretty nice, just really cold outside. The rest of the week it's supposed to be snowy as well. And my mom just told me that on Thanksgiving, it's supposed to be 15 degrees outside. HOLY HELL that's cold. I think snow is pretty and I love it for Christmas, but when it comes this early I loathe it. Especially when you have somewhere to be early in the morning and there is ice covering your car. I have to scrape it off for so long and my fingers are about to fall off! It's miserable. But it wouldn't be the holiday season without it. I can't imagine December without snow. I was watching the Holiday this weekend, and it's so funny to me when Kate Winslet goes to L.A and people are at the beach for Christmas. That just seems so weird to me! But it's what people are used to.

Anyways Happy Monday.... it's going to be a long week.. and finals are coming. (kill me now)

Sunday, November 21, 2010


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
~Kahlil Gibran

Why do people cry? I have always wondered this; yet all I do is cry I feel like. I'm such a sap. I cry at weddings, funerals, good movies, memories, music, books, photographs, quotes, acts of kindness, etc -- the list goes on and on...

But that's who I am. And that's okay. I feel like when I let my teardrops fall, my emotions are going on a rollercoaster ride. My family just left to go back to Idaho... and we were all crying like babies, not just because they are leaving, but because we don't know if this could be the last time we'll all be together as one.

Have you ever noticed though that sometimes you are too numb to cry? It doesn't make you a bad person, I just think that sometimes if you let those tears fall... they won't be able to stop. Tragedy has hit my family, and a lot of the time I hold it in. I don't think that is exactly wise because then a lot of the times my emotions are pushing to break through the surface and I cry when the situation isn't always the best. Sometimes you need to take that time for yourself and let the emotions over power everything. Because with great sadness comes joy. Well I'd like to believe that anways.

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
~John Vance Cheney

Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed.
~Natalie Clifford Barney

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.
~Golda Meir

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

Saturday, November 20, 2010

A Windy Satur-Day

What a week!! Seriously. Sometimes time goes by so fast; this week however, has been going so slow. It was amazing though! Went to school, had such a happy week -- better than I've had in quite a long time in fact, my family came into town Thursday from Idaho, saw Harry Potter 7 with good friends and family, had good talks with close friends, watch old movies that while making me sad about the past; made me excited for the future, etc.

I cannot express enough how cute my nephew Jaxon is. He is one and a half and he has about 6 teeth now! I can't believe how much he has grown. It's sad that I don't live in Idaho too; I feel like I miss a lot of the changes that he and my other nephew Isaac go through. Isaac didn't come on this trip :( I miss him. But Jaxon runs around everywhere, putting everything in his mouth.. and I do mean EVERYTHING! Being quite the handful, but it's worth it.

Here we go..... HARRY POTTER and the DEATHLY HALLOWS was absolutely amazing; epic in fact!!!!!!!! Brilliant. And did anyone else notice how buff Ron got? Mmmmhmm. I love him, I really do. I love that he and Hermione have started really flirting too. They really stuck close to the book, which made me beyond happy. Of course they have changed small things.. or left some stuff out; but it's okay because they left in my favorite parts (except for the Dursley scene). I hope things heat up even more between Ron and Hermione though...... they are the best!! Everything was done really well and I'm excited to see how they finish this huge chapter. It will also end best at Hogwarts, and I'm glad that they will finish it there :)

Next for my ranting is the subject of: boys. Boys, boys, boys.. where do I even begin? Lately my friends have been having boy trouble and I must say that I love being on this side. I have no boy right now, no crushes, no anything; I feel stronger than ever. I hate when you date a guy and things start getting troubling.. I get all weak and insecure about things. It's horrible really. So right now is when I give the best advice to my friends because I can think with a clear head. I just don't understand when a girl finally opens up, guys turn away. It's okay to open up boys and let us in. Oh and a "break" is probably the most ridiculous solution to a problem that I have ever heard. I have done them before and it only makes things a trillion times worse! Because the boy can do whatever he wants because you're on a "break." But give it one month or two after.. and you'll be broken up for good. It's seriously so pointless. Couples these days don't work for their relationships. When the going gets rough......... they quit. I've seen it a hundred times, as well as been through it. I'm always trying to work for it the very end, but they want to just be done with the situation. Maybe there is a reason for that, but it gets old really fast. It makes me afraid for future relationships. I do believe in fate though, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. I haven't found my Mr. Right yet... but when I do, I'll greet him with open arms :)

Today is soooooo windy outside. I'm waiting for a huge snow-storm to hit. I looked out my window this morning expecting to wake up to white powder everywhere; but nothing. Yet the wind is not ceasing to exist either! It's putting up a fight.... so we'll see what happens.

Enjoy your Satur-Day.


Thursday, November 18, 2010


Yup -- the Harry Potter posts continue. SORRY!!! But when I get obsessed with something, I just don't stop! I can't help it; I love Harry Potter too much. Last night I watched the biography channel which was doing a special on Harry Potter. It showed us how they made the "magical" world and everything that goes into making the movies. I had no idea it was so much work!!!

I love the bumper sticker that I posted.. how true is that? I would do anything to give up this "normal" life and exchange it for something magical and even more worthwhile. A bigger purpose you might say. I wouldn't even mind doing homework in potions :) Better than math. I always wondered in Harry Potter if they ever taught them like english, math, etc. Maybe you just don't need those learning aspects for the magic world. I just know there is something out there that maybe there is witches, vampires, etc. You think.. ya right how can that be? Well think about it. How are we created? How big is this universe? There is so much that is unknown to all of us; so why couldn't something magical really truly be out there? Maybe that's what heaven is, I don't know. I just like to think about a fantasy world.. and maybe that's why I write about it so frequently. I'm an aspiring author and I know I really truly stick with the one type of genre, but I seriously cannot help it. I like to be creative and imagine this other world. It definitely helps take away the pain of everyday life and the barriers we face. For just one moment you can transport yourself to something completely different; who wouldn't like that?

Anyways -- I'm sure after I see the movie I'll do one more post about HP, then I'll stop :) But there was my crazy ranting for the day.



Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I decided that I wanted to just ramble & ramble some more about some things :) So I hope everyone doesn't mind!!! First of all yesterday was MONDAY which means = Gossip Girl!! I used to be a huge fan.. but it's sort of dwindled lately. BUT I must say I am the biggest Chuck and Blair fan. They create fireworks when they are together. Amazing! And Ed Westwick is so sexy... especially when he speaks in his English accent OMG. Last night's episode was actually pretty good. I did feel really bad for Serena though -- she's hitting rock bottom, but not because of her actions; more so Juliet, Vanessa, and stupid little J. Eww. And she can't choose between Nate & Dan. Come on look at Nate; he's beautiful. I do like Dan, and they were very cute together, but they are step brother and sister... isn't there a law against that or something?? Anyways until next time with GG :)

For my next blah; I am an aspiring writer. I have always loved writing, and it's just been a part of my life. I wrote at the age of five... and have never looked back. I do want to be a school teacher (it's what I'm going to school for) but I also want to write a novel. Getting my story published & loved by others is a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to do it, but gave up that dream; until recently. With a tragedy happening in my family for the last two years.. it has showed me that we need to follow those dreams of ours. You never know when your life could be over. However, every time I get an idea for a story I look to see if it's already been done, and it has. It's beyond frustrating. Then I got an amazing idea for a story and I have already written about six chapters. I was buying books for my kindle and saw on amazon a story that was almost identical to the one I was writing. And it was very popular. I don't want readers to think that I copied other authors. So how in the world are you supposed to get your work out there if the ideas have already been started? I guess that's no reason to write. I need to do it because I love it and feel that my story has potential. I admire a writer named Amanda Hocking - she has done the My Blood Approves series, Hollowland, and Tyrlle series. She is just starting, but she has a lot of talent. Her goal to get where she is today is what makes me admire her though. She didn't give up even when everyone put her stories down. I believe she is self-published, and it quite popular now. It gives me hope that one day I'll be in the position. I would love to write YA (young adult books) and children's stories. To have a children's book published in my classroom would be so amazing!! So I'm going to follow this dream.. and you'll all see my name later on in life :) What's the point of living this life if you don't do big things? The things you love?
Next on the list is a really happy note. Yesterday for the first time in a long time was the best day I've had. Everything went right: school, Pi Phi stuff, getting rewards for being an outstanding member of my sorority, having so much fun with friends, receiving a letter I've been patiently waiting for, got to help someone who needed it, etc. I just felt good and good things kept happening. Lately I have felt like I was a "bubble," on the edge of popping by any little situation. But yesterday I just floated upward; not spiraling down for once.. but upward. It was the best feeling - and it's hard to even explain it. I don't know how yesterday was different, but maybe I woke up with a different attitude and didn't even know it. I just want those days to continue.

Now..... the exciting news!!! FRIDAY MORNING 12:00 am it's Harry Potter time. I seriously cannot wait as you can tell in my Harry Potter blog I did last week. Ahh! Can't believe it's already here. Omg. Beyond stoked!! It's so funny seeing everyone dressed up. Pretty amusing if you ask me.

Another happy bit of news is that my older brother, sister-in-law, and nephew Jaxon are coming into town Thursday. I cannot wait to see them!! It's been so long. We're having a mini Thanksgiving on Friday :) Look how cute my two nephews are! I love this picture. I'm sad Isaac isn't coming (the older one) but I understand why... Anyways, I just love them to pieces and cannot wait!

Anyways I'm done blah blah blogging :) I hope everyone has a Happy Tuesday!!


Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Little Things

I must say; this week was a good one. Mostly I did stuff for my sorority ΠΒΦ, and every minute was worth it. I'm graduating this Spring and this is my last year in Pi Beta Phi. I'm not sad about it though because I realized that in college I have done all I needed to do, accomplish, etc. I am not always happy with the past and my actions, but I am thankful for all the experiences; the good and the bad. It put me where I am today and I am much stronger for it. College seriously has been amazing and even though I'm ready to move forward and to bigger and better things; I will look back and smile. For me going to the U of U was 100% times better than my high school experience. I write this a lot, but I was way too shy and quiet in high school. There were so many opportunities I could've taken, but in the end didn't. I do regret that. But I definitely have made up for it in college. I wasn't the typical "sorority girl," but I did it to meet new girls. What I got out of the experience was better than I could ever explain: life-long friends, opportunities to better myself and my future, community service & other Philanthropies, and had some of the best memories of my life. It was always the little things that counted. Last night I was with the pledge class 08' and we honestly had so much fun. But it wasn't anything huge or "out there." We mostly sat around the dining room table that we sit around so often and just talked and talked some more and reminisced about everything. I was laughing so hard I was crying; especially when we pranked called some of our favorite frat guys! So hilarious. Then four of us slept in the "nest" -- that's when we push the two big couches together and it makes this huge nest looking bed. I got about 20 minutes of sleep and had to wake up at 6 am; but I'll remember that night forever. We kept laughing & laughing about the most crazy things; like I said, it was the little things.

I think people need to make memories... and realize that it is the little things in life that count. They bring smiles, laughter, make friendships and memories. I'm so thankful for my friends and family. :) It also goes in a bigger direction as well; the little things can mean a lot to people. By going out and helping other's is not only selfless, but it helps bring light to those less fortunate. How could that experience not make you feel amazing?? That's why I love community service so much. By helping making a difference in someone else's life, it makes living honestly worth while.

Anyways, I'm exhausted and even though I had plans to go out tonight; sitting home and reading/watching movies on this gloomy day sounds amazing. Enjoy your Saturday && thanks for listening to the ranting.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Harry Potter...

Okay, so here it is. I'm the biggest Harry Potter fan. Always have been; always will be. I loved the books & have always loved the movies. They have done them perfectly, (minus a few cases). I just can't believe the saga is coming to the end. It's weird to think that the actors have been doing this movie together for a decade now.

I think it's so awesome to go back and look at them in the first movie. They are so cute and little! And then you compare them now:

They have seriously become closer than family... that's what they have all said. And I believe it!! I just get so sad when I think it's coming to an end.

I must say though, there is something I cannot wait to see in this film. Unfortunately I know it will be Part 2; and we have to wait a very long time for that. Here is a clue:

Yup... Hermione & Ron. I have always loved them; and from book two Chamber of Secrets.. I wanted them to be together!! I had always hoped. Book 6 was probably my favorite because you start to see that they are expressing their feelings to one another. Well first Hermione comes to grasp that she feels for him; and then he dates Lavender (blah) -- even though her character is amusing [Won won]. But I love in The Deathly Hallows how finally Ron sees her in that way; well at least admits it to himself. I always get so sad when he leaves the camp saying, "I get it, you chose him." It breaks my heart every time! But they make up for it with the famous kiss that I cannot, cannot wait for. Both the actors said it was beyond weird, "like kissing a sibling." But I hope that awkwardness doesn't show on the screen. But I have a feeling it will be epic.

I know for a fact; a scene I'll cry in.. is when Harry & Hermione visit Lily & James' grave. It's like he made a full circle and is finally going back to where it all started. It makes me cry every time I read that part in the book; how he just let's his tears fall and thinks about their bodies below the earth. I love his "sibling" friendship that he and Hermione share. I'll also cry when he's about to sacrifice himself to Voldermort... and he sees his parents and their friends. They guide him through the forest and he whispers, "Stay with me." Oh man. I have a feeling I'll be a complete baby this entire movie. Not only because it's coming to an end, but because J.K Rowling kills off some of my favorite characters. :(

I'm curious to where they will be splitting the movies... any thoughts on that?? Maybe before they go back for the "war" at Hogwarts. I think this series will be the highlight of our time; I have loved everything about it. I'm so sad for the end to be so near; but I strive to write like J.K Rowling someday and to have something this popular come out. I know that's a dream beyond dreams... but still, a person can hope :)


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Weather WTF?


Oh boy.. I thought it was crazy that they start Christmas music two days after Halloween; but honestly I don't mind that. It's the weather that spins my head round and round.

Last weekend it was about 70 outside. My cousin actually got burnt from being outside for a couple of hours. Then yesterday I wake up to a blizzard. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; this is Utah. Weather here is a lot of the time unexpected. Today is just gloomy & it's depressing.. Didn't want snow this soon though :( I love Fall and I feel like we got screwed over. We had about 4 days of nice crisp fall weather... now here comes the snow. Don't get me wrong I do love snow.... for Christmas. After that it can go away!!! In Utah the snow stays way too long. Last year it stayed around almost to May. Utah used to have distinct seasons. Four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Now it's more like: Hot summers.. and snow.. snow.. snow. This is another reason why I want to move. I don't think I appreciate the snow enough to live here. Sure I like to ski; but I'd rather spend my time outside with relaxing weather. Definitely love the "in betweens" -- not too hot/not too cold. That's why I'm such a big fan of Spring & Fall. This weather also makes it hard to decide what to wear for the day! One day you are wearing pretty much tank tops... now I have to wear boots and parka's. What this weather really makes me want to do is wear sweats and dress sloppy... sit by a fire and read all day long!! Perhaps watch Elf :) :) But nope; I have to go to school. BOO!

Also day-light savings time just happened on Sunday, and I swear to God it always throws me off!! I know we "gained an hour" but who cares. I hate that it gets dark outside at 5 pm & the light pours in my room at 7 am. Not a fan of this!! I don't even know why we still have day-light savings time. Can't we just keep it the same all year round?? Oh well...

On another note though, I'm really liking how my blog is turning out!! With the help of Rachel (http://howfickleiswoman.blogspot.com/) my blog is looking actually cute! Wahoo.

OH and I'm now obsessed with coffee-made "Peppermint Mocha." Holy crap it's delicious... I'm already on my 3rd cup of coffee this morning! Maybe that's why I'm so buzzed ha.

Well there is my ranting and raving for the day :) Hope you enjoyed that. Have a great Tuesday!!


Monday, November 8, 2010


Oh ΠΒΦ how I love you... This is our I-week, and I felt I had to write a little memo about it because I realized, it's my last initation week in this house (not counting the Spring.) I cannot believe four years came and went so fast. Life really does move fast, and if you don't stop and appreciate it once and a while; you'll miss fantastic and great things!! I'd like to say I put a lot into this sorority, and I'm happy to say I did get a lot back in return. I have made lifelong friends who are such amazing girls. Some I'm closer with than others; but I'll take a piece of all of them with me when I leave. It makes me sad, but honestly I am so grateful for Pi Phi. I was the shy girl who hid behind the veil; but now I am a strong woman ready to face the real world when I graduate and I have them to thank for that. I lived in that house for two years; first time away from home and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Room 8 will definitely be in my heart forever... oh and Ollie the fish, may he RIP. Joyce; thank you for being the best house mom in the world. I miss you a lot. There is not a day when I step into that house that I don't think of you. You were the true HM because you were so true to Pi Phi. I love you and miss you -- just know we're thinking of you RIP. I want the newbies to really look at this experience with arms wide open. I remember the seniors always saying, "I remember being in your spot, I can't believe how fast time goes." And at the time I was like, wow... it seems to be going by fast. But that is a lie now that I'm a senior graduating in the Spring. It did go fast. But I am sooo happy that I'll be with my PC 07'. We were the seniors that stuck it out all 4 years. And I couldn't imagine a better pledge class to share this experience with.

PC '10: Put a lot into this house.. you'll get so many rewards if you do.

PC 09': You crazy girls that I love soo much. Thanks for making me laugh.

PC 08': Oh my favs... you girls really mean so much to me. You're our littles and our good friends. Thanks for all those memories and making me feel so young!

PC 07': I love you pledge class. You touched my life in the best possible ways. Thanks for the laughs, the tears, the friendships, the roadtrips, the roomies, and the memories. You are my family... always and forever.



Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Hiccup Along the Way

This past week was definitely a hard one to get through. I feel like the past couple of months have definitely been a rollercoaster. Somedays are normal, others fantastic, and the rest not so great. I felt lost this past week and I felt like my direction in life was veering off course for a while. BUT I got through it, and honestly yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a long time because of a few factors:

1) I made a goal, and stuck to it even though outside influences were making it difficult. I didn't give in.

2) Surrounded myself around the people who make me feel whole.

3) I was forgiven for some past mistakes that I was really worried about.

4) My inspiration and dreams came crashing back into my life all over again.

5) I felt strong.

6) Being around family made me open my eyes; making me realize that you need to move forward, go after the things you want to do in life, and accomplish them.

7) Celebrated my Great Aunt's 90th birthday. I want to be like her. She's one of those people who has touched so many other's lives around her for 90 years. Her life was celebrated yesterday. I just hope one day I can have that success and look back with no regrets.

Yesterday made me realize that even though we have "hiccups" along the way; you can still move forward and be strong throughout it even if it seems beyond impossible. I also realized that I need to ease up on myself a lot more. I am my toughest critic, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I could've gone about things a lot differently and wouldn't have suffered in the ways I had this week. I need to come to agreement that things happen in life, but it isn't the end of the world no matter how bad it might seem at that moment. Especially when you mess up, you are going to thing the world's coming to an end; other people aren't always thinking about it. And I need to STOP worrying so much about what other's thing. This is my life, and I'm the leading lady of it -- Holiday :) So here is to making this week full of laughter, fun, and spent in the company of loved ones.

Life is beautiful; it should be explored and lived to the fullest.

Anyways... there's my ranting and raving for the day.

PS: I must say that the one thing that wasn't great yesterday was the football game. The Utes played HORRIBLY. I don't even understand what happened. Quite embarrassing though; but I'll always be a Ute fan even when I move far far away.


Friday, November 5, 2010

Go Utes!!!!

Tomorrow is gameday!!!
The Utes are playing TCU... it's going to be a HUGE game!! It's more exciting than playing BYU (because they suck this year.) ESPN are going to be at the stadium at 6:00 am! So I'm going early so maybe I can be on the news!!! It's actually the black-out game (which I look forward to every year). Everyone cheering for the Utes wears all black!! It looks really cool when you see in on TV or what not. This game really is going to be huge. It's sold out -- but I heard to get a ticket it's $500. I'm not sure if that's true or not, I just thank God I'm a student so I don't have to pay at all to get in! But then again I am in the MUSS -- which I also get the best seating in the house. I'm row 8... ROW 8!!! I can almost smell the sweat coming off of those hotties. I seriously love football, and the Utes are so good! It's fun too because I know a lot of the players; they used to be in tons of classes with me when I first started going to school. I know they are going to do awesome tomorrow. I just hope we will be victorious! TCU is really, really good. I think they have the # 3 spot in the nation. The Utes are # 5, so yes, it will be beyond intense! Tailgating is my favorite part of the game really though. I love seeing all my friend and the families there. The food is always amazing!! And luckily the weather is supposed to be really nice unlike the last game that was pouring! Anyways this was a shout out to my team! I love you guys -- make us proud tomorrow.
U N I V E R S I T Y . O F . U T A H . U T E S

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Who I Really Am.

I really like this quote by Dr. Suess because I think it applies a lot to my life; especially right now. Since I was a little girl I sometimes hid behind the curtain. I was the sweet, innocent, compassionate girl who would get walked on quite a bit. It went that way pretty much until my first year of college. I decided that's not who I am. I'm not the shy girl behind that curtain; I was someone who was meant to stand out of the crowd and be known for who I really was inside. Ever since then I've been just that. I speak my mind probably more times than I really should, and I'm not afraid anymore. However, there is one thing I wish I could change about myself. I care a lot about what other people think of me. It's something that I have tried to change for a long time now, but nothing seems to work. Because I realized even if I'm not hiding behind that curtain anymore, I am still the sweet and compassionate girl who actually cares about others feelings; maybe sometimes too much. So how can you change those traits about yourself? I don't let others walk on me as much as I used to, but I think I still have it in me to let it happen from time to time. I am corky and weird and I'm definitely proud of that side of me. I love making others laugh because it also brings a smile to my face as well. Lately I haven't focused much on myself and I'm letting my feelings slide to much to others. I need to stand up and be proud of who I am, even though I've made mistakes. We all have; none of us are perfect, and if you are, please stand up and say so!! I shouldn't be afraid of being "judged" or "looked down upon" when I know people have done the same mistakes, if not worse. But what I've really truly realized lately is that I'm my own hardest critic. I really need to ease up on myself. That's the only way to life fully and successfully. People are always going to try and bring you down, that's how the world works. Not everyone is going to like me, so be it. And people will judge and accuse when they have no right to it, alright then. I'm going to start lifting my head up higher and be happy for those people who do count in my life. But even them I can't worry about their opinions of me. I need to be true to myself. I need to share the love I have with so many others with myself. I won't let one person stop me from my dreams, even if they don't believe in me. Because guess what?


By thinking in that direction I think anyone can get ahead in life. And that's the path I'm going to start taking. I need to be brave and confront the mistakes full speed and be able to move on and forward.

Even though there are attributes myself I need to change to make myself stronger, I do like who I really am. I will have my shy moments and you know what? That's okay too. But don't you worry, you'll definitely hear my voice within the crowd. I'm going to stand out -- starting now.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Weekend 2010

Soooooooo... mixed emotions about the Halloween weekend. I won't go into detail about the bad stuff (at all as a matter of fact), but there were some good times dressing up. I went out with friends one night and was the Queen of Hearts. Awesome outfit!! And also was Vince Young NFL Titan's player. :) My little brother is obsessed with him, so giving him the jersey after will make his day I know it will. I actually on Halloween stayed at home and answered the door for the trick-or-treaters! They were so cute. We had about 24 kids come, and a few teenagers who took a lot of candy.. it was weird :) But made me realize that too bad Halloween trick-or-treating is only for children; I love candy probably more than all of them combined!! It's funny because you know what comes next RIGHT after Halloween........ Christmas music on the Radio. This year maybe I'll just get into it and hopefully won't be sick of it by Christmas; afterall.. it is my favorite Holiday hands down. I do love Thanksgiving though because it always brings families together. And this year is definitely a rough one for my family, and we need to experience every holiday we can with one another, because sadly, it might be the last. Anyways hope everyone's Halloween was awesome.


Seniors - Abduction. Halloween 2010. Pi Beta Phi - Nu.