There is honestly so much to say about the last year. If anything, it was the most life-altering year of my entire life. I guess watching someone you love die slowly in front of you will do that sort of thing to you. I also made some of the biggest mistakes of my life as well. Mistakes that I'm not proud of in the slightest, but surprisingly, don't regret. If they didn't happen, it wouldn't have opened my eyes to how valuable life truly is. I wouldn't have gotten closer to an old best friend who was there for me when I truly needed her. I wouldn't have gone to Oregon and fallen in love with it, hoping that it will someday be my future. I wouldn't have found an outlet to writing more, and definitely wouldn't have become so obsessed with blogging. I wouldn't have made such wonderful new friends who have really made me happy these past few months. So as you can see - things do happen for a reason, even if at the time you don't understand them in the slightest measure.
I have learned also, that loving with your whole heart isn't a bad thing. Sure it hurts like complete hell when someone squashes every inch of you heart - but in the end it was worth it. I don't want to shut myself off from the rest of the world because I have been hurt too many times to count. I'm proud of myself in the end because I was willing to fight for whatever it is I had. But I'm happy it didn't work out... with any of these far away loves because I know that I deserve better and I will receive better when I least expect it. My Mr. Right is out there and I'm not settling, not anymore. My step-dad told me I deserved more than I give myself and that I need to settle only for greatness... I'm going to cherish that advice and take it. I am.
If I have learned anything over 2010 it is that you need to live every moment to the fullest. You don't know when it could all be over. I have always "tried" to live by that little memo; in reality I wasn't really doing it. I have tried this year to actually accomplish that, but things haven't made it easy in the slightest. So this year I'm going to accomplish that goal of mine. I am going to live up every second of every day and I'm going to do it for myself. Only me. Life is worth living - because if not... what's the point? Because I know there is a point to all this; there has to be.
My New Years Resolutions are these:
- Live life to the fullest.
- Continue writing every moment I get the chance & to finish one of the many ideas of a novel I have. But mostly my most current one - I have a good feeling about this; I think it's going somewhere special.
- Start living a healthier life. If anything I have learned it's that we aren't invincible... even though I wish we were. I need to start working out more, eating better, and continue drinking less!! Seriously.
- I want to help a complete stranger - I want to do something good for the community and not for myself. A selfless act will make me feel whole.
- Graduate college with great grades (still on the Dean's List I hope) and to have a great job lined up... whether that's here... or somewhere else.
- Speaking of which, I want to travel more and find a new destination to live. Really looking towards Oregon, but if something else catches my eye... I'll follow that. But Oregon is where my heart is right now and I would love nothing more than to move there when I can and to teach and write novels. :) Sounds perfect to me.
- Make sure that the last few months of my step-dad's life are worth while and memorable not only to him, but to our family.
- Try something new - something out of my "comfort zone" so I can look back down the road with a smile saying, "I did that."
- Continue making new friends. I must say making bloggy buddies makes me beyond happy!! I love hearing all of your tales and the written word.
- I want to read more books out of my element. I find a genre and I stick with it... but how could I possibly be a fantastic writer/author if I don't step out of my zone and move to another to see what author's write along the page? I need to read... read.. and then... well yes, read some more!!
- Watch less TV and actually go out and be active!! TV is great, don't get me wrong... pulls in a lot of my daily obsessions, but I need to go try new adventures; not just sit on my ass ;)
- I will love with my whole heart. I will go out and meet new people; give new guys a chance... clean slate because yes, they do deserve it. I won't shut out opportunities and I will be very confident!!!
- Last and I'm certainly not least; I need to continue to be strong and brave. This past year was one of the hardest of my life, so now I know if I can get through that... I can get through any barrier that blocks my path. It won't be easy, especially because this upcoming year I know my step-dad will die and I have never been through such a great loss, but I'll continue to hold my head up high and learn from everything.
With that said: everyone have an amazing New Years Eve and be safe!! I hope your NY resolutions are set in stone as well. Take care.