Today is definitely one of those days... I just feel like my spirit is in the gutter. What's my nickname for today? Debby Downer. Not sure if it's school that's making me feel this way, or something else is going on. I feel like sometimes when I'm feeling down... my emotions keep spiraling out of control and I cannot stop it. Sometimes I wish I could be graduated already and teaching my students; I feel like it's always just right out of my reach. I know I shouldn't be acting like this, but it's hard when you put your all into something, and it gets thrown back in your face. What do you do when your best isn't good enough? I know a lot of this has to do with my math class and I'm not sure how I can change that. I also feel like college has taken a lot of creativity away from me. I used to be original and had amazing ideas of what I wanted to do with my students someday; I was so passionate about teaching... now? Now, I sometimes feel like I don't want to teach at all anymore. I really do want to pursue my dream to write a novel as well, but I cant solely focus on just that. A lot of new authors aren't always noticed or taken seriously and I can't make a living with just that even if it's something I love. Don't get me wrong I still want to teach more than anything, I just feel like the process of getting there is taking it's toll on me. Try having a family tragedy in the mix with all that... definitely makes things worse. I know it's just one of those days, and hopefully tomorrow will be better because I hate feeling like this. It's been so foggy outside and I can't but help to think it's a metaphor for my life right now. Usually I have a clear head, but lately everything I believe in and my dreams seem to be all scrambled. My path is now foggy and that's not a very comforting feeling. I need the fog to lift; I need to start living again to the fullest... because as of right now, I feel like my life has come to a screeching halt.
Hope your Monday is going better than mine.