I have been doing my solo teaching days, and let me tell you something... they are so stressful!! They are also very exciting. For the first time I feel like a real teacher after 6 years of college and that means something special to me. I have taught with someone two times and did solo teaching about three. Yesterday was my third time and I was terrified. I was so prepared my second time and confident; the teacher didn't like it at all. Said it wasn't "me" and that she didn't know what "threw" me that day. I was so devastated because I felt like I put my all into it - but maybe she was right... maybe I hadn't. So yesterday I had to talk to the children about pollination and halfway up there I knew that was the real me teaching. It's a hard subject to teach children, but it clicked. I brought flowers in the classroom and they were putting their fingers in the middle looking at the yellow pollen left behind. We looked at pictures and did a page in the plant cycle book (which was my idea). I was still nervous for what the head teacher had to say, but at the end of the day she nearly hugged me and practically said, "there you are." She finally noticed who I am and what I'm capable of - I think a part of me finally noticed the real teacher inside of myself as well. It was a fantastic feeling and the head teacher said my day was the best out of any one's which coming from her is like receiving a gold crown! I think you really need to believe in yourself even when others don't, but when they do give you criticism, instead of taking it like a bullet to your heart like I did, you need to listen to what they are saying and learn from it. She was just trying to help me grow and a bad day with negative words ended up helping me get where I got yesterday. I'm thankful for that.
Speaking of finally getting noticed, did anyone watch Glee last night? OMG! So far I think the second season is way better than the first and the music is incredible. The original songs that Rachel and the song "Loser Like Me" were awesome (I already bought the whole album from itunes). But that wasn't my favorite part of the episode; remember my last blog post when I spoke of Blaine? Yea, wow. First I'm in love with his voice, it's sexy as hell, but he and Kurt are my hands-down favorite couple. You could tell when Kurt sang Blackbird (which was amazing - voice of an angel), that Blaine finally had that "moment" he spoke about to Kurt afterwords and he realized that Kurt was the one he'd been waiting for. I don't know, I thought their whole love story in the episode was beautiful. And their kiss... no joke, I literally started jumping up and down like a 5 year old (the ones I work with) and my heart was pounding. My last ex and I would kiss and I didn't feel that flutter in my stomach like I did with Kurt and Blaine = Klaine.... ha sad. Means that I haven't found my Mr. Right.I think when you finally get noticed by either that special someone you have been pining over, or the way you are noticed for your hard efforts, or just being noticed for who you are, can honestly change something inside of you. Yesterday I went to bed feeling fulfilled and I haven't felt that way in a long time. Today hasn't been as good for other stressful reasons, but all I have to do is think about the way I felt when my teacher said congrats or when Blaine and Kurt kissed and I saw that love and it reminds me that everyday is a stepping stone, and even though you might fall of your stone slightly, your balance will hold you straight up. Life can be hard - no doubt about it, but with the bad always comes the good in my mind.
Here are some favorite pictures for the day! Have a great day. xo.