Friday, April 15, 2011
"I Will Always Choose You"
Is anyone a Vampire Diaries fan?? Because last night's episode reminded me of why I love this show so much and started watching it in the first place! Lately I have been all about Glee and somewhat forgot about VD, but omg! If you are a Delena fan, then I bet you died like I did. I know they are going to get together at some point, I just know it. Nina Dobrev is such a talented actress; I also loved when she slapped Damon and had her break down.. so emotional, she definitely had me in tears. I didn't think it was possible, but she actually got even more pretty in this episode! Holy crapola. I want a guy to say "I will always choose you Jess," I just think I want that type of love in general. Someone to love you no matter what and put your life before theirs. There is just something so romantic and poetic in that I think. I know my Mr. Right is out there somewhere, but sometimes I get lonely. I want something real, not just what I read about in books and watch from the media. Everything I have had up until now, has taught me a lot about life and relationships, but I swear every relationship I have had has ended up with me hurt and basically it was a disaster. I know you learn a lot from those types of barriers, but at the same time, a heart can only take so much. I like this quote that is in New Moon (The Twilight Series) and it states: "How many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating..." I find that so true and sadly, it's heartbreaking. I get nervous because I've never been in love, and if the pain from being hurt was that intense when I wasn't in love, then I can only imagine what it would be like to have your heart broken when you are truly in love. I don't want to be negative at all, just insecure about relationships and trust in general. I know you need to give everyone a clean slate, it's just I feel like my heart is really fragile, especially with my step-dad dying. I have been going through so much this past year and I feel like a lot of the time I'm drowning and trying to stay afloat, but things and situations keep knocking me off my feet so my head is totally submerged. Half the time I'm at a loss of how my life got this way... but I do try to keep strong. I just want good things to start happening; I need good things to start happening. I know my guy isn't in Utah, it's a weird feeling to have, but I just know it. Maybe when I move to Oregon I'll meet him :) I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! So excited, 3 weeks till graduation... ha even though I am going to summer school, that's okay though. Just the fact it's so close makes me so happy! Take care. xo.