Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day, we are here to remember those we have lost and even remember those who we have never met, but are still important in our world. I can't help obviously to think about my step-dad who I lost only 4 weeks ago...well I guess 5 now. I'm sitting in the exact spot he used to sit in his wheelchair because I wanted this post to be for him. He was so important to me and I wish that he could know that in heaven. I believe he is there and I also believe he ran into heaven using his legs once more. There is no pain and suffering there, only love and compassion. He is in fact in a better place, but I still miss him every single day. He added so much to this family and I really miss his guidance. I have dealt with so many hard times this past year, but losing him was the hardest. This week I have something big going on and it's going to be rough, but hopefully I will take his guidance and light with me so I can get through another one of life's barriers. If I can make it through the two years of taking care of him, I can get through anything. I do pretty well, but I can't lie, there are those days you don't want to get out of bed or something reminds you of this person and it makes you extremely emotional. I went to that Greek wedding a few weekends ago and I thought about him as the bride walked down the aisle with her father and then later when she had her daddy-daughter dance. Of course I still have my father, but Greg was just as much as a father to me than my real one. I wanted them both there and I wanted them by my side as I walked down that long stretch to my husband-to-be. But then I smile because I know that he will be by my side, even if he's not physically there, I'll be able to sense his spirit and love. He's watching out for me, I know it.
If I could I would just tell him thank you for everything. He showed me how a husband should treat his wife and to never settle for anything less than what you deserve. He taught me about technology and it has definitely come in handy since he's been gone because for some reason I keep getting stupid viruses. He taught be about loving yourself and believing in yourself. He taught me to "live like you were dying" and to never take anything for granted. He made me realize that even when things seem almost unbearable, that we can get through anything and it will be okay. We are our toughest critic and we need to be there for ourselves.
I love you Greg and you are a hero to me. You died with such grace and gained respect from so many people not just with your battle with ALS, but how you composed yourself through your life. You were an amazing businessman, father, grandfather, husband and friend. God be with you, forever and always.

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