Thursday, June 9, 2011

Reminiscing












I cant help but to get a little sentimental as I add all my old pictures on my new laptop. Sometimes I really miss the old days; sometimes I miss it so badly it hurts. I feel like I was such a different person back then. I've been through so much the last year, that it forced me to grow up sooner than I would have liked. I just pictured my life going so differently. Not trying to be negative, but seriously it scares me sometimes. Yes I am practically done with college doing what I love: teaching. And if I hadn't of gone through what I had, I might have never wanted to pursue writing a novel. So in those aspects, my life is quite positive. But I look at my social life which has dwindled to nothing. It's so sad but it's so true. I know it's my fault; I removed myself from other's life because watching someone die on a daily basis, changes the way you look at the world. I no longer wanted to go out and party like I used to. Listen to friends constantly say, "I'm so fat - blah blah blah!" Well least you can move your arms and legs - bitter I know, but still I keep thinking of ALS and what it took from my step-dad. The dating situation hasn't made me an happier. I dated pretty much a crazy guy last year and I'm still dealing with that baggage even though I checked out...um last year! I just want to meet Mr. Right, or a guy who is worth knowing and spending time with. I know you learn something from every relationship, but so far I haven't met one worthwhile. 


But looking at these pictures, I've realized I've been truly blessed. I've gone to places no one will ever get the chance to go to - so I need to look at it that the adventure is not over...it's just beginning and what I've been through has paved this path for me. I'm stronger than I used to be and the experiences I've gained has led me where I am. I will have the future I've always wanted. 

xo.

1 comment:

  1. I saw myself in this post a lot. I find it hard to look back sometimes on all the friends I had and the fun life I had my four years of college. The "real world" is just so much harder and you end up losing people in your life, even if you don't want to, due to people moving away, getting married, and sadly, older family members getting sick/dying. I enjoy looking back at old pictures but it often makes me sad too. I try to think of them as good memories to cherish. You look very happy in all the pics! It stinks having to work and not having time to do all the fun things like you do when you're younger.

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