I PASSED MATH WITH A (B) AND I'M AN OFFICIAL COLLEGE GRADUATE!!
I'm honestly the happiest girl in the world right now. I studied for a week straight; 7 hours a day in a math lab with other students from my class. I was determined to pass this last barrier I had to face. Math always has taken a piece out of me, but this time I wouldn't let it prevail! But sadly I took the final yesterday and felt defeated as I left the U. The test was much harder than I thought and had the typical scenario, you know the one, "The problems you've studied aren't on there, and the ones you glance at are." I was very low yesterday and I knew he'd post our grades. I honestly didn't even want to see it because that negative streamline came through my head and I realized, "What if my best truly wasn't good enough? What if I didn't pass?" Well then my friend Kelli from the class texts me and says, "The grades are up Jess..." Yes, I panicked. I couldn't go out or do anything until I knew my fate. So I go to the webpage and see final grade/final exam scores. My hand was literally quivering as I slowly made the way to the link. As I pushed the button and scrolled down, I reminisced on everything I've had to deal with in the past two years: the good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted to be thrown a bone. I wanted something good to come into my life, just once this year. I had prayed before my test and asked my step-father to give me guidance...and well he did, because when I saw that I had gotten that B it was literally the happiest I've felt...well in a really, really long time. Of course I burst out crying and start jumping up and down. My mom, aware of how I felt about the situation all day and has seen what I've gone through in college, actually hid in her bathroom because she didn't know if it was good or bad ;) But it was good and I screamed, "I got a B mom, I did it!" Of course she comes running out with tears streaming down her face; then I start sobbing and everything for just a while gets a whole lot better in our lives.
After four years at the University of Utah and one year in the beginning at Salt Lake Community College, I'm officially done with college - (for now at least). I love the school scene, I just do. I tell my father, and he goes, "Congrats sweet heart, so when are you going to Grad School?" I was like, okay, can I have at least an hour please? But I'd definitely like to move and do grad school at some point and get a minor in writing. My new goal!
As I sit here, I feel like I should have a steady job and career waiting for me now. I don't. I feel like I should have huge plans that will happen ASAP. I don't. And you know what? For the first time I feel like that's okay. I'm where I should be right now. I made a promise that if I graduated, I'd take sometime for myself, and that's what I'm going to do. I want to travel for a bit and do some more things on my Bucket List that I made a while back...and hell, add even more to it! It is an endless list in my opinion; you cross one thing off, add another. I saw this quote and I really liked it. Thought it applies to life in a really good and meaningful way:
All week I have had the thought that I wouldn't be attending the University of Utah anymore. I was done. I was moving forward. Of course I grew sad, in a good way. Thinking about as we go on, at least we'll still remember. I have to say the best part of college was joining my sorority: Pi Beta Phi!! It totally broke me out of my shell and I met some of the most amazing girls and people and situations and experiences, that I've ever had in my life. I'll always be thankful for the experiences I've had in college, and even though high school wasn't the greatest, college was, and I grew up...in my own ways of course. I'll never truly grow up I've decided, and you know what? I love that about me! I love that I can be weird, watch Disney movies, play nintendo, just enjoy life and laugh about it all. That's the point right? Here are some pictures I took this week of mostly Greek Row, somewhere where I spent most of my time. I'm probably going back next week to take more pictures of the campus because I love it!
So with that, I leave a song that seems appropriate and two quotes that I absolutely love and will go along with my "childish-nature!" I'm ready to go shape young minds (kindergarten teacher) and to pursue my dream with writing. I'm unstoppable now. Thanks for all your comments of support when I was feeling down about math by the way. Meant a lot! And all your endless support when I lost my father.
"As we go on, we remember
All the times we had togetherAnd as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly"