Sunday, January 30, 2011

A Weekend Reflection

This weekend was really fun! Usually, well as of late, I don't go out much. I think it has a lot to do with school and what's going on with my step-dad, so I get burnt out... especially by Friday; this Friday however I made myself go out and definitely had a good time. I'm disappointed to announce that I didn't go the Sundance Film festival - I wasn't feeling too good Saturday night, but it was a busy day so that's okay.

Friday it was my friend Rachel's goodbye party because she is moving to Denver - so we went to a bar Gracies. It was a lot of fun to see a lot of old friends who I haven't seen in forever. Here are some pictures from the night:
That night me and my cousin Nicole came back to my house and ate junk-food and watched Dragonfly/Titanic. Kept falling asleep so not sure either really counted. Saturday morning we went to Kneaders and had the best french toast in the history of french toast... it was simply amazing; I'm craving it right now actually!! After we went to my friend Mary's ceremony. It really meant a lot to her, so I was glad I could be there for her. She seems so happy... so that's what makes me happy. She means the world to me. Anyways after we went to her house and it was so fun seeing old high school friends who I really haven't seen in forever. It was a good weekend for that I've decided. I love making new friends, but sometimes being around the old friends make it all worthwhile. Just seeing them brings a smile to your face and you feel almost whole again... I like that feeling, I even yearn for it. Especially now. Especially after everything.

After that we went to my favorite restaurant Porcupine!! It was really fun. But that was the night I started feeling blah. So I just stayed in and read and watched movies. To me that is the greatest thing ever; I love having my relaxing nights just to myself. I watched my favorite Disney movie: The Little Mermaid.

I love this movie with every fiber of my being. My mom and step-dad took me to see in this in the theaters when I was three years old. It was my first movie I ever saw in the theaters... so that's special to me. My mom said I hogged the popcorn and it was practically bigger than me! This movie makes me cry, every time. When the credits start for some odd reason (call me sentimental); then when King Triton ruins all of Ariel's collectible items. Another time is when Ariel finds out Prince Eric is marrying someone else and she is crying on the dock watching to cruise boat go by. The last two times are at the end when her dad gives her legs so she can be with Eric and at her wedding when she says, "I love you Daddy." For some reason it gets me ever time and I cannot help it. This and Beauty and the Beast are my two favorites for sure!! I miss old Disney! I just had to throw that statement out.

Sunday morning I picked up glasses that I got on Friday afternoon. I love these glasses - I even took a picture of them.
I only wear these glasses for reading, going on the computer, driving at night, etc. I am still getting used to wearing glasses at all - I feel like I look a little funny, but my mom says I look like a real teacher that way! Ha. That's funny. They're awesome and were very expensive; so I'll be taking care of them that's for sure.

I also watched the Hallmark show: The Lost Valentine.

Oh my God: it was so good... and sad. I cried like a baby!! It was just such a beautiful show and made me excited to fall in love. Fairy tales do still exist; I believe that. Growing up as a little girl, I always pictured a fairytale love story that was so epic that people would write about it. I could write about it. It hasn't happened yet for me, but I want it to. I know it will. It has to. There has to be more than life than just waking up and doing the same thing everyday. Or watching people suffer not only from diseases, but from the stress of life. Life should be magical and something you can believe in. If those stories didn't exist... they wouldn't have been written, and they have.

You see them everywhere; that's what makes me so excited and hopeful for my future. I definitely know that my hard path is getting me ready for something phenomenal. I also liked the movie because the grandson was extremely good looking!

I definitely have procrastinated tonight: instead of doing homework, I watched movie after movie... for example: The Lost Valentine, Sleepless in Seattle, The Lord of the Rings, The Ugly Truth - well you catch my drift. I also played Super Nintendo :) I love Nintendo. Always have. Always will. Mario games are my favorite!! They are so epic. Playing Nintendo makes me forget my troubles and I feel totally blissed out. I love that feeling. But it's about 2 am now and I barely got anything done... so that's not good. But this week is going to be really busy, so I needed the relaxation more I think.

Overall great weekend!! Hope you all had an awesome one as well. Good luck with the long week!

xo.

Friday, January 28, 2011

TGIF

Really. THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY! I couldn't be more thrilled. I like this semester of school, but I'm so burnt out I'm running on empty! So every week I seriously just fall down on the floor and want to lay there till the following Monday. Sad I never want to go out and do anything anymore! But this weekend I'm spicing it up by actually doing activities. I know, shocker! Today I'm going to finally get my glasses that I so desperately need. One of my eyes is a lot better than the other, and I read so much that my eyes have begun to really hurt and my sight goes blurry (which scares the crapola out of me!) so I'm going to nip this one right in the bud (even though it's been almost 2 years). I have glasses, but I can tell the prescription isn't very good anymore, because they barely help. I feel like I look kind of weird with glasses so I always just sit there and my mom will be like, "Oh Jess, those ones look good!" And I'm like, "Mom, are you serious? This looks like something I would wear in the 1920's." Bless her heart. I cannot be picky - just need to do it!

Tonight I'm going to a bar called Gracies. I'm going for a goodbye party for my good friend Rachel who is moving to Denver! I'm so happy for her - she gets to kick start her life into gear, but it makes me realize even more how much I want to move to Oregon! I want to kick start my own life into gear... ASAP! It will be nice to see all my old friends.

Like last night I went to my sorority house Pi Beta Phi to watch Vampire Diaries, which was beyond amazing, and it was so nice to see all the girls. I kept hearing, "Omg J-Ruud is that you?!" It was a good feeling for sure! They even got a new plasma TV so watching Damon Salvatore on the big screen made me smile. We got cheesy pull aparts from an amazing pizza place called the Pie! I swear their biggest pizzas are as big as my bed; not joking. The episode really was great though. I was hiding in my friend Christina's sleeve like the whole time. The ending was so sad though - definitely teared up!! It was all Damon Salvatore; I must say that Ian Somerhalder really is such a talented actor! You could just feel the emotions pour out of him. Amazing.

Tomorrow I'm going to this ceremony type thing for my best friend Mary. I'm really happy that she is happy and I want what's best for her. So I'm mainly going to support her like a good friend should. My cousin and I are having a sleepover tonight and before we go to my friend Mary's dealio, we are going to get french toast! French toast is honestly my favorite breakfast food ever! It's so syrupy and delicious... omg I want it now!!

Saturday night I believe we are going to the Sundance Film Festival which I'm really excited for. I hope I see some movie stars!! I'll keep you all updated for sure.

So that's my weekend pretty much because Sunday is unfortunately homework day; not fun.

I'm sad about something... Alex Pettyfer I've now heard in recent news, is most likely not doing Mortal Instruments. It was such a let-down blow seriously. :( I got so used to accepting that he was going to play Jace and he is Jace in my mind whenever I read the book. It's so dead on that it scares me sometimes. So now hearing this news, literally breaks my heart which is sad because it's just a movie. But I don't care. The director said if Alex didn't sign on, that he probably wasn't going to do it. He even knew that Alex would be perfect for the role. But if they don't make the movie at all... oh boy... not a good thing at all. And if they do I'll be very happy, don't get me wrong, but I can't picture any other guy playing this role. I'd rather them go find out and find a sexy model to play it then another actor we've all seen. Anyways that's my rant about that. Nothing is official yet, but I don't have a good feeling about it. He was on Ellen today though or at least will be, but someone already posted his segment. I don't like his hair like this, but he's still so hot. I can't resist that accent. And I'm excited to see I Am Number Four, even if I am mad at him right now. That's the link to Ellen's show:


Something funny and random though, I was looking at my old photos and saw pictures from when I went to Forks Washington when I was a die-hard Twilight fan, yes, my obsession has eased up a lot haha. But here are some pictures, don't judge me when you see that we dressed up as vampires one night... kind of.. and filmed ourselves dancing to Disturbia in our little hotel room. Great trip overall.

This trip was actually when I first started to love Oregon. We went to Portland and shopped for a day, and then stayed in Eugene overnight and went to the Pi Phi house there. It was huge!! A Pi Phi let us stay at her house, it was so nice. I fell in love with all the green on this trip and that's what went through my head. But when I went to Oregon this past summer with my best friend Mary, well, it sealed the deal for sure. I need to go to Eugene again because when I was there it was night time and we didn't get a real chance to look around. Other than the sororities and fraternities.
Well I hope you all have a happy Friday and an awesome weekend! Cheers :)
xo.
PS: I changed my entire blog; not just the background, but have a new header with new pictures, new font, bright colors, some different buttons, and other fun stuff!! I'm in love. It's definitely ME!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What Am I Loving? I'll Tell You!

Like my title?? It's spunky and fresh... okay not at all. Ha!!

I don't have much to write about on this lovely What I'm Loving Wednesday - but it's become a tradition to write on these days and it's 11:45... so I am quickly running out of time!

Today was a busy day, especially because of math. I'm a procrastinator, that's just me. One of these days I keep thinking that part of me will change, but it never does and I realized why: because I always get my tasks done. I have never once failed at turning something in when I waited till the last possible micro-second!! Sadly, if anything it kicks my butt into gear. I kind of like that motivation but I don't love the stress that piles on with it; nope, not at all.


BUT besides having a stressful day with math, I had a meeting today with the other student teachers in my class and we picked our days for solo teaching. We have five days and a team teaching day. Yes, it's overwhelming to think about planning the day and running it... but the head teacher said something tonight that I really respected, "I will be there to help guide you if you need me, but I won't tell you if you are doing something wrong. I want to give you a chance to know what it's like to be a true teacher. I am handing this class to you and it will be yours. If the day doesn't go as planned or something goes wrong, you will learn from that and that experience you will treasure forever. I want this to be the most meaningful glass you have taken from college and I want you to leave at the end of the semester no longer a student, but a teacher ready to face the world." :) And yes, that was a lot to say... but that's practically dead on to what she said. I remembered it because it really touched me. This is my chance to do what I love to do. This is my chance to put into action what I've been going to college for, for all these years. So that was the main thing I loved about today. I'm growing up in the very best possible way.

Another thing I decided to do today was to make a "Visionary Board." I've been really trying to be positive to the max lately by reading the Secret, surrounding myself around things and people that I love, showing gratitude and more, but a visionary board is taking it a step further. It's putting everything you love, want, wish for, dream of, are inspired by on this board that you yourself designs. It's like making a collage basically and I have to admit I'm already happy during the process of making it. I scrimmaged through magazines and have been cutting stuff out. I'm also going to get stuff off the Internet as well. I'm going to share my finished product onto my blog... but it's just a bunch of words right now - so next time!! Every time I look at this board I will be reminded of my goals and what I want to achieve in life, what I know I'll receive if I give a lot back. The whole idea of showing gratitude truly makes you feel big inside; sometimes we only look at what we don't want in life and we don't show thanks when it's really deserved. Everything in our life that we have received comes from the act of love. Without love there is no life at all.



Going along the topic of love... I must say that I LOVE the idea of LOVE. Ask anyone you meet, I'm a hopeless romantic all the way. I love the lovey dovey movies, and if I read a book and it doesn't have at least a little bit of romance in it - nope. I look at couples and instead of feeling jealous, it makes me feel excited. I cannot wait to fall in love. I have dated, but never been in love. I've brought this up before, but I'll bring it up once again. I have felt lust only towards my crushes and boyfriends. Lust can have a strange affect on you because it seems like love, but there are key components to why that isn't so (I had a class that talked about this in high school). Love is patient, not jealous, and everlasting... lust isn't. I'm going to meet my Mr. Right. And I'm done with the whole "Mr. Right Now." I want my Mr. Right. I'm ready for him. And I know he's out there... so it will happen because I believe in love and I know I deserve to have love returned! :)

Want to know something else I love?? Animals. Animals just bring a smile onto my face, it doesn't matter if they do anything at all. They could just sit there and you will be like, "awww.." Just look at these pictures and tell me they make you happy, because I know they will!

The last one is my favorite; so precious! Especially because it's one of my favorite types of dog: Golden Retriever. I seriously want a dog so much. My mom is always like, when you move out you can get whatever you want, but not here. I am definitely a cat person, but I love dogs as well. I just have never been fortunate to grow up with one. I have a beagle named Sport at my dad's house and he is such an amazing dog - but I don't see him nearly enough. I want to come home from a bad day at school and go walk my dog or just sit and play with a ball and hug him! I know they are a lot to manage, but I'm really looking forward to getting one... one day. I'll probably start off with a kitten. They are adorable and easy to manage!

One more thing I love then I'm going to bed because I'm beyond exhausted. SPRING!
I love, love, love Springtime. It's actually my favorite season, and not just because my birthday is in May. I love that everything comes alive in Spring, well back to life I should say. The flowers start blooming again and the baby animals are born. I always think of the Secret Garden.
I would go to my Nana's house when I was younger and we would watch this movie - she loved when they took Colin into the garden and it shows all of the blossoms for the first time. The music always is so breathtaking, and now when I watch the movie I cry every time. Nature's beauty is the greatest beauty of all and that's something in itself that we should be grateful for. The song "Winter Light" at the end of the movie is my favorite, and I found it on itunes the other day; definitely made me happy. I think I need to go back to my Nana's and watch this with her. It would be a fantastic surprise and a great way to welcome Spring and pray the snow will stop soon.

Well I hope you all had a wonderful day. Goodnight!
xo.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's C-C-Cold!!

(Took this picture on my way home from school)

So apparently I didn't watch the weather forecast for today, because when I woke up I was shocked to see everything covered in white!! I know, I know... I live in Utah. Snow isn't exactly a big shocker around here, it's just the everyday life style; although yesterday was sunny and felt like a beautiful Spring day! So to go to this type of weather all of the sudden didn't exactly make me jump for joy. Yes, it's beautiful and as you can see in that picture I took on the way home from school, our mountains are beyond breathtaking - but you have to realize that driving to school today wasn't not a fun adventure in the slightest. My poor little Jetta was skidding and sliding all over the freeway. The snowplows hadn't even shoveled yet, so it was quite frightening. I wished at the time they would've canceled classes, but then I wouldn't have been able to see my adorable student's faces!!

Overall it was a pretty glorious day!! My positivity is really taking over and I feel better and better :) Living everyday feeling the gratitude and the love for your surroundings truly makes a difference; for the better. I actually found this link on the Secret website and I wanted to share it with you all. It's a beautiful video taken from Planet Earth. Seriously it's breathtaking. And I don't think it's possible to watch this and not feel thankful at the beauty around us:

Okay, so I know I talk about this a lot, but I really don't care!! I found out about a week ago that Alex Pettyfer has in fact been considered by the director for Mortal Instruments to play Jace Wayland. Fans everywhere seriously are beyond ecstatic! They are finally listening to our calls. Edward Cullen's role was one thing - it's hard to decipher the most beautiful boy you have ever seen, but Alex fits all the characteristics for Jace that it's almost creepy it the best sort of way. It has been confirmed that he has read all the books, read the screenplay and loved it. He thinks Lily Collins is the perfect role for Clary, as do I, and he will decide shortly what he's going to do. I feel like they are making us wait... but I do think he'll do it. He is very busy with just finishing I Am Number 4, which I want to read and go see, and he is signed up to do quite a few other movies after this. But it doesn't matter, he is the best Jace there is! Even his mannerisms define the character. And for the fact he's sexy to the max helps his cause as well. Here's to keeping my fingers crossed!!

Speaking of hot guys... I cannot wait to see this hottie on Thursday:
That's right: Damon Salvatore. Vampire Diaries is finally back on and I'm so stoked for it!! It's honestly the highlight of my week! I just hope for some Delena (even though they said he's going to be getting a new girlfriend and it won't be Elena), I will not give up on them. The writers have built these two characters up so much during season 1 and so far in season 2 that it wouldn't make sense if nothing ever happened between them. I mean he said he loved her already for God's sake! That means something... hellooo!! Hopefully they're just building them up even further so when they do happen, and they will, they will be extraordinary. I'm sorry, I'm just not a fan of Elena and Stefan. I would almost rather him be with Katherine. They are just boring (except for the first time they made love, that was beautiful), but you catch my drift... unless you've never seen this show then sorry! But you should watch it; it's beyond amazing. So here's counting down the days till Thursday!

Adding onto the guilty pleasures of television, I finally watched Kourtney & Kim Take New York City and loved it. I could never live in NYC because it's too fast-paced for my taste and I'm definitely a country type girl instead, but there is something so dazzling about that city. They are definitely going to take over that town!! I feel like Kim has issues with guys and that Kourtney needs to spend sometime with Kim instead of just Scott 24/7. I expect good things from this season.
Have a fabulous night everyone - I'm off to go do math homework. I cannot wait; I'm so good with math and understand it really well (did you believe my positive thinking? Haha).

xo.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Weekend in the SLC

My weekend was overall a 7 & 1/2 ;) Sorry for the depressing post yesterday... but I had to let out my feelings; sue me! Anyways, when my brother was in town we all went to Gateway (a outside shopping strip mall) and ate lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. So we are sitting there and I see this woman sitting across from us. I lean over to Cam and whisper, "Doesn't that woman over there look like Rosie O'Donnell?" And my brother replies, "No, that doesn't look like Rosie O'Donnell... that is Rosie O'Donnell." Yes. It was Rosie O'Donnell. Here is my proof of the matter:
I was even trying to act non-conspicuous and took a picture of my sis-in-law and nephew Jaxon... but I totally got Rosie in the back :)

I'm pretty sure the reason Rosie O'Donnell was in Utah was because it's the Sundance Film Festival right now. Movie stars, directors, producers, photographers, artists, etc all come to the Beehive state at this time of year every year to attend this festival. If you go to it, you are guaranteed to see someone famous. I definitely want to go up there, because I don't want to say the only movie star I saw was Rosie! Yikes. She was kind of scary and was scowling the entire time. I was scared she'd see me taking pictures of her and break it!!

Anyways, a rewind on the day was that this was Friday and like I said we went to Gateway Mall. I was a dweeb and took a picture of my outfit because I love the pants and shoes that I was wearing; okay, I loved my entire outfit!! Too bad it's such a "myspace" picture ;) You can even see my adorable little brother Landon in his tux on the mirror!

After lunch and spotting Rosie, we were going to go to the aquarium to find out that they got rid of it. But it was okay we made do; instead we went to Discovery Kids Land which is awesome!! This place is like a little world for children and gave me great ideas for when I do my solo days for student teaching. I can use this place for one of my field trips!! Here are some pictures that I took when we were there. My nephews are adorable. The older one who is five is Isaac and then the one year old is Jaxon. They make me smile!


We stopped after and got caramel apples; mine was amazing: Apple Pie Caramel Apple, to die for, honestly. On the way home there was a beautiful sunset. Pictures definitely don't do it justice. It's sights such as these that make you appreciate life altogether.
When we got back to my house it was bath time. It was so adorable: Jaxon didn't want to wait while my sis-in-law got Isaac into the tub and so Jax dove right into it with half of his clothes still on. I had to take a picture because it was funny!!
Isaac is into super heroes right now, and his pajamas are of Batman!! I'm a huge fan of Batman ever since I was little of the age of 3 to be exact. I used to run around the house in a cape and a mask. That was me instead of playing with Barbies at a young age. But look how cute he looks as we was modeling for me:
I was exhausted after that day - but not too exhausted to stay up and watch the new episode of Jersey Shore that I missed with my cousin Nicole. I was hoping to get a good nights rest...but sadly didn't sleep too well because of my step-dad. But that's alright. Family is there for each other no matter what. The next day was a lot more laid back. They were leaving so they kind of did their own thing and went to lunch. Me, Colette, and Isaac watched Daddy Day Care, which was a nice break from the Peter Pan series that Isaac had become obsessed with because of me. I got him to watch Hook on Thursday and since then he watched it four times, then the cartoon Peter Pan, and then the remake of Peter Pan. I definitely approve because Hook is one of my all time favorites! The family said their goodbyes and it definitely was an emotional one. But I'm excited because me and Nicole are going to go stay with my brother and them during President's Weekend!!! Idaho isn't the most exciting place in the world, but it's close and it will be nice to get away.


Today was fun! Definitely a cousin day to the max. Me, Nicole and my other cousins Alaina and Chris went and saw No Strings Attached.

I actually really liked it and not because Natalie Portman is one of my favorites and that Ashton Kutcher is amazingly sexy (and you get to see his butt a lot), but because it was just refreshing and I liked seeing a stronger woman in one of these romantic movies for once. It definitely made me want a boy though, especially on their Valentine's Day date. Thought it was so cute when he gave her carrots instead of flowers:
I want a boy like Adam (Ashton Kutcher's role) in the movie. He wasn't afraid to explain to her how he felt. He was compassionate, cheesy, happy, and adorable. He could also make her laugh - and I love a guy with a sense of humor!! That's the greatest if you ask me. Usually I get saddened when I watch a romantic movie because I realize I don't have that other half to me and feel lonely; this time was different. I didn't feel that sense of loneliness, but instead feel excitement for when I meet my Mr. Right. I know he'll have all those qualities that I want in a man. So I'm no longer afraid. He's out there. And I'll meet him when I meet him. But I also feel that sense of security that I know he's within my grasp. That in itself is something to smile about. I do think for Valentine's Day, that me and my cousins (us girls) are going to have a night of movies, dinner, junk food, and wine! I'm going to surprise them both and send them flowers and chocolates at work. My cousin Alaina gets sad because she can never meet the right guy and she's getting older, so she is becoming insecure. And Nicole and her boyfriend of 3 years broke up after New Years... and this is the first Valentine's Day she'll be alone, so I want to make her smile and not feel lonely :)
After that we all went to the Cottonwood Club where I'm a member and ate there for old times sake. It was delicious!! We then went back to their parent's house where they go on Sundays and we were going to watch my favorite Disney movie the Little Mermaid, but their VHS wasn't working... so instead we watched episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - my guilty pleasure that got me into the whole "vampire scene" to begin with.
So overall it was a fantastic weekend, last night was harder for me because I was sad, but today reminded me that the sun still shines (which it was today) and you can still laugh so hard tears fall down your cheeks. It's days like this, and weekends like this that make me prepared for the long week ahead.
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and have a fantastic week!
All my love.
xo.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bittersweet

So this weekend has been pretty great so far (which I'll talk about more in my next post)... can't complain, only to say that I'm always so sad when my older bro, my sister-in-law, and two adorable nephews go back to Idaho. They have been here since Wednesday - so it was a long vacation on their part. It was definitely a bitter-sweet trip though. My older brother comes mainly to see my step-dad, who is his real father. It was a little hard this time because my step-dad Greg is doing really bad... so having children run around and what not didn't help the anxiety. So the boys and Colette (sis-in-law) aren't coming again till he's probably gone. Watching her say goodbye to Greg was so emotional - even when my older brother Cameron was saying bye, I shed some tears. You never know when the last time you are going see someone... it could end for any of us at anytime. Certain situations in life really don't make sense, no matter how hard you try. I think overall this disease is honestly taking it's toll on all of us, especially my mom. She used to laugh and smile... and I never see that anymore. I don't expect her to be happy right now, but I hate morning 24/7. No one is dead yet and I don't want to live as if that were true. We are supposed to spending this time with one another confessing feelings and be around each other doing special things... but we don't. However, we did spend some time as a family when my brother was in town. But it's just different. Yes, Greg has had this disease for 2 years now, a very rough two years, but only as of late have I noticed something different. He has gotten worse, but that's not what I'm referring too. I feel like my step-dad is completely gone. There isn't any trace of him in the body that sits in that wheelchair. Day after day he stares at the TV while my mom feeds him in his feeding tube. He used to smile at some funny remark on Seinfeld, or show me in his face that he was proud of me, but that special flicker is gone. It's like he already has died. The hardest part of this disease is watching him suffer. Last night he was screaming in his room because his legs were cramping up so bad. I can't even imagine not being able to move at all. All you do is lie there and that's it. He can barely move his finger tips now. I feel bad because I'm getting tired of it all. I want it to end. How heartless is that? He is my father and I love him - but this is physically and mentally draining me and my mom. I need a change. Something good. As you can see in my last post I was as positive as can be. It felt amazing, better than that -extraordinary... but it didn't last. Living in my house right now, sucks that light right out of you and I'm beginning to hate it here. My brother gets to escape back to Idaho while I'm confined within these walls. Sure I go out with friends and go shopping... basically do my thing... but the moment you step foot back into this house you feel the walls caving in on you. I'm suffocating.

Sorry for the depressing rant. I hate going on and on about all of this... but you need to let it out. My mom holds it in and finally today she burst! She started yelling at my brother and all he did was hug her; she then broke down in his arms saying she wasn't okay and didn't want to lose the love of her life. All I can do is be there for my family; even if it feels impossible at times.

It's a bittersweet situation, but that's life. Not everything goes our way and that's alright I suppose. You learn from it all. That's what life is: a learning process. But you are supposed to feel happiness and joy. You are supposed to wake up and be excited for the upcoming day! I want to get back to that point and I'm trying desperately to get to that destination. It won't be easy, but I'll achieve it... one way or another.

I hope you are all enjoying your Saturday night - I feel like I've become such a dud!! I don't ever go out anymore... the sad thing is, I don't mind it. A lot of people have stopped texting and calling me, but I wish people would step into my shoes every once and a while. I'm sure they would re-evaluate their life as well.

xo.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Live the Good Life


Life Lyrics
Beckah Shae

Here I go, I’m on my way with my Love glasses on…
Here I go, I’m on my way I see more clearly and I feel strong…
More More More More
There’s got to be so much more to this life

My My My My heart is racin’ just to know what it is like
More than I could expect, anticipate or imagine
I’m willing to believe amazing things are still happenin’

I’m gonna live the rich LIFE (rich LIFE)
The full and blessed LIFE (blessed LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!
I’m gonna live the good LIFE (good LIFE)
Beautiful and glorious LIFE (glorious LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!

Here I go again on my mission to give it all
(give it all, give give it all all)
Cause I’m aware that what I share will come back good measure
Pressed down, shaken together and runnin’ over
Life Life Life Life Is whatever I receive it to be
Why Why Why Why Not jump over doubt and dive into belief?
More than I could expect, anticipate or imagine
I’m willing to believe amazing things are still happenin’

I’m gonna live the rich LIFE (rich LIFE)
The full and blessed LIFE (blessed LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!
I’m gonna live the good LIFE (good LIFE)
Beautiful and glorious LIFE (glorious LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me, yeah
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!

No eye has seen nor ear has heard…
My My My My faith is breathing only because, I I hear these words…
Exceeding and abundantly more than we could even ask or think (whoa)
Surpassing all human understanding I’ve been given this amazing peace(this amazing peace)
I’m gonna live the rich LIFE (rich LIFE)
The full and blessed LIFE (blessed LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!

I’m gonna live the good LIFE (good LIFE)
Beautiful and glorious LIFE (glorious LIFE)
So if y’all know what I mean, put your hands up and declare with me, yeah
Love In Full Effect, Chaim!

I wanted to throw this song out there today. I'm feeling so good, positive, and happy. I wanted to share that feeling with you all!! I woke up feeling amazing and read some more from the Power and then turned this song on and danced around me room!!!

It's going to be a good day.
I'm ready to start living the good life.

xo.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

WILW

Here we go again... another Wednesday!! I'll tell you what I don't love about today: the fact that I have math class tonight. I know, I know I whine about it a lot - but I cannot stand this class. It's back to geometry type stuff, and my teachers never taught me geometry very well. But I'm trying! I've had to go through magazines finding shapes, and I already have a quiz tonight!! Need to be done with school, that's my inspiration.

But what I do love about today is that my older brother, my sister-in-law, and two adorable nephews are coming into town today. They are staying with us, so by the time I'm back from math class, they'll be here!! They will be here till Saturday, so I have to make these days count. Mostly they are here to spend time with my step-dad (because that's his son), so it can be very depressing. But it's still really nice to see them!

So I'm a huge fan of the Secret. I love the positivity that it brings to your life when you read the book and watch the movie. I know a lot of people don't believe in it, but I do. I need to work harder at being more positive though. As you can see... I was already negative in this post about math. You have to show gratitude to everything around you, and life's barriers are a way for us to grow. I've actually started to read The Power, which is the sequel to the Secret. Part of me almost likes it more, but they are definitely two books that make you feel good.


I said I was going to watch it... and I have. I am almost done with season 1 of Glee - it's so awesome. I love the music - the main girl has such a beautiful voice!! And Kurt blows me away; he can sing so high that I thought it was a girl at first. Puck is hot too!! I don't know what it is about me and those bad boys - but I love em'. I already have about 26 songs from the show on my ipod :)

Okay, so I'm such a dork, but I took a picture trying to show off my hair. It's not a big change in the slightest, yet I love it. It's still blond - but I used my natural darker color to have dark mixed in with the high-lights. I definitely think I'll stay blond for a while, but I most likely will have dark hair again someday.



The other things I love are things I have in my room - I took pictures of them... yup I sure did. They all symbolize something that I truly care about - that's why they are in my room!!

This new bag I bought is amazing! It says love on it and I am not sure if you can see it or not... but there are tons of writing on it - which symbolizes how much I love writing. But in all different ways and languages are love sayings - or just the word love. It's so cute!!


This is my kindle and my writing journal (the kindle is in my green case). I love it because a little light is in the case and lights up when I pull it up! Very creative. My kindle is something, besides my ipod, that I take almost everywhere. I already have 75 books on it, and a lot of them I've read over 7 times! Yes, I'm a bookworm to the max and I'm very proud of it!! My journal isn't just a journal to write feelings in, because I already have one of those. This journal is special to me because it has all my ideas for my novels inside. The novel I'm writing now has about 26 pages in this journal with ideas, plot, characters, sayings/quotes, descriptive words, theme, setting, etc. It's really helpful and almost like my bible... so to speak.

This candle is really special because I got it in one of my favorite places: Florence, Oregon. I wouldn't move to Florence because it's really small, but it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been in my opinion. The coast is amazing and with all the green... well it was enough to make me want to move to Oregon all together. I'll probably move to Eugene because it's bigger, but the plus side to that is that it's only 45 minutes away from Florence. Definitely a win-win situation. The candle is so cool because there is blue sand and seashells inside from the beach where me and my best friend stayed!! Love it.

Okay, so I'm a huge Boston Red Sox fan. I'm sure a lot of you are Yankees fan... but who cares ;) I fell in love with them when I was younger, and it's a dream of mine to go to Fenway Park someday to see a game. Actually it's a dream to go to Massachusetts at all! There is so much history there and I would love to go see Harvard as well. My older brother who is coming into town gave me this hat... I love it, but I wish it had been reversed the colors - the blue on the outside and the "B" red. But it was a gift, so I'm thankful for that! I love the movie Fever Pitch - I'm definitely not that big of a fan, but it's such a good show!


Last but not least is my bed. Okay this bed is beyond comfortable!! Everyday I look forward to lying in it because it feels so good. I also love stars - so the star behind my bed definitely makes me happy.


I think a person's room really reflects them. It's like a little secret world to your life - it's your space, your area and yours alone. That's what makes it special.

So those are just some of the things that I love this Wednesday afternoon.

Enjoy your day loves!

xo.